Divine Calling

Enormously Funny: I wear the internet like an old shirt and when people see it, they see me. Nobody knows the internet like me and my newfound friends, but I think it's better that way. Afterall, there is something a little cynical about the internet, a little twisted. What's so twisted, you would ask, about blogs and blogs and blogs all made by single mothers and angsty high schoolers and me? What's wrong is that cnn.com knows about pulled pork in Ireland and terror in Mumbai, but they don't know a single thing about me, Foassel, my sister and mom.

Humans were never supposed to have the internet. I've learned that in the chatrooms, where people ask me straight out if I'm a psychobilly and if I'd like to have cybersex. They don't talk to you if you're a 17 year-old guy from Foassel, and they don't care if you have my disease . Fatherof4 tells me this is not normal, not what the real world is like. We are better than the internet, which is nothing but a tool that takes people and screws them up until they're nothing but the jeering images that pop up when you do a google image search on something like: "who am i." Today, I pose this question to you. Who are you? What are you contributing and why are you here, on the internet, reading about pulled pork and chasing down psychobillies? What would your wife say if she knew what you do on the internet? What would God say?

I have found who I am, and it wasn't the WikiHow-to that taught me. My life on the internet was no accident. Someone has to clean up the world, clean up the internet, change what cnn is saying, and who better to do it than someone with the knowledge and expertise of the internet that I have?